News & Updates,  Writing Journey

Random Thoughts & Blog Changes

Hi there! It’s me. ^_^

So, first on the agenda: Starting in February, because I had too much to say this month, apparently, I’ll be updating the blog less frequently. Likely every other week, but sometimes there’ll be an update two weeks in a row because of reading updates that happen at the very end or top of every month.

I know. You’re so heartbroken. Actually, I know it’s totally fine, but I want to bring it up anyway. I’m doing this for only one reason, and it’s because I associate this blog with writing. Since I’m not writing very much, I honestly don’t know what to say. And between work, my Youtube channel that I insist on updating, my other hobbies, and the amount of books I need to read to stay sane right now, I need to lighten the load a tiny bit. For the time being.

Once upon a time, I could have talked about writing all day. It was literally never exhausting. To me. Now, if I bring it up – IF – it’s mostly a jumbled mess of me trying to figure things out. That makes for a very incoherent blog post, and no one wants to read that. Including me. I’ve tried.

Sometimes, I have moments of clarity that make me wonder why I’ve wasted so many years of my life on writing novels when I seem incapable of writing the kind of book that I want. I feel like I’m really good at basic entertainment, but I’m not satisfied with that, and it ends up eating away at any joy I can feel for a project: all the ways I’ve let myself down and fallen short.

In the absence of writing, I’ve had a lot of time to relax, creatively speaking, and a lot of time to think. Mainly I decided to not think too much about it right now, but sometimes I can’t help it. I can’t help but notice things about other books while I’m reading – things I like and don’t like – skillsets that are naturally harder or easier for me – things I love about great books that are seemingly impossible to attain. I can’t help it – should I try again, are novellas a better fit for my writing style and disposition, do I just need to not try to do anything for five years, should I force myself to try because maybe it’s just a mental block, is it better for me to just quit now because I literally don’t have it in me to write a great book?

The mad scientist in me wants to experiment with some story-related things when I’m having a really good day and the subject of writing rears its hideous face, but there’s still no real energy for it. It’s like the amount of creative energy it takes for me to write a song, for example, is so low compared to the amount of energy it takes to write a chapter of a book. And sometimes, on a bad day, I think it’s because I shouldn’t be writing books, because it shouldn’t be that draining, is what I’m thinking. So, right now I’m just thinking about things, from time to time, and letting the thoughts just sit there and be. There’s nothing else to do with them, except to let them exist while I watch them float by. And when jealousy rears up and points out all the ways a book I love is so much better than anything I can do for whatever reason, I just sit there and let it soak into my skin.

So, as I love the old blog, I decided the most stress-free option is to update it less frequently. I’m trying to fix my chronic insomnia, because I can’t function on such little sleep anymore. I’m in my 30s. 😛

Which brings me to my final point: topics on said aforementioned blog will be more random than in previous years, encompassing other interests I have, maybe, or just me popping in to say that I finally started watching Bridgerton and I love all that shameless gossiping so much.

I know this is also totally fine, but I wanted to mention it. 🙂

10 Comments

  • Michelle Athy

    YESSSS, you started Bridgerton! It’s brought me so much joy the last month or so to see a book series I enjoyed become a television series. I can honestly say I was reading Regency before it was on Netflix lol

    I think pulling back from your blog is a good idea—I’ve pulled back on mine and basically nobody reads it anymore, but it’s there when I want to spout about something. I’ve been trying to pull back on social media in general in the last year or so–pandemic Twitter got really really fraught and I’m taking random month-long breaks there.

    I finally have a fun story idea I want to explore and see if I can write–I have 11 pages so far and I know how it’s going to end, but that’s about it.

  • Tonja Drecker

    Blogging does get to be a lot. I’ve pulled back quite a bit (down to once a month) on Kidbits, too (and feel guilty about it, but what’s a girl supposed to do?) I’m super excited to see random posts coming up! Writing is great, but there’s more to life. And I am curious to see what else you’re up to 🙂

  • Kristy A.

    I love Bridgerton!! It’s so dramatic and awesome. 😀 I used to blog once upon a time in the earlier days of Tumblr. It takes up more time and energy than people think. Sometimes we need to change things up. Especially when we’ve been doing it for a while.

  • Jodi

    I’ve always enjoyed your blog, even when it’s just you trying to figure things out or losing your sanity over one project or another. It’s super relatable. And funny sometimes, even though you aren’t necessarily aiming for that, lol. That being said, I totally get where you’re coming from. I used to love blogging before I became a writer. I used to chronicle everything from a bad hair-day to failing at kickboxing because I’m too “perky.” THAT was the blog I loved. Then I started writing a book, and it all went downhill. I wrote about nothing except for writing, and my blog became tedious, and repetitive, and single-note. I no longer felt like it represented me. Or maybe it did, but I didn’t like this newer obsessive version of myself as much as I liked the earlier me who still had a life outside of drafting stories.

    The best thing I did recently was to start a newsletter. I already have 60+ subscribers (far more people than those who read my blog) and now I only have to write what amounts to a longer, more organized blog post once a month. I was the editor of our staff newsletter for years, so this is something I totally have the stamina to stick with and I actually enjoy. Unfortunately this isn’t an option for you, given that newsletters only make sense for authors trying to promote their books and/or give updates on events and new releases.

    Anyway, whether you write one post a week or one a month, I’m glad you’re sticking around.

    • Krystal Jane

      Trying to figure things out losing my sanity is about right. Lol! I talked about random stuff when I first started blogging. At some point I put the blog in a box. It was fine for a while, but I started feeling like I couldn’t talk about anything else. It’ll be fun to go back to random land. ^_^ And I’m happy that you’re having fun with your newsletter!

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