For some reason, I thought it would be a great idea to study a foreign language this year.
To clarify, the goal of studying a language is not the problem. I took French for a year in high school. LOVED it. Then my parents moved to boonyville. They only had Spanish. So the one Spanish kid at school had to take Spanish. It’s so…a bunch of things. So I was forced to take Spanish with a teacher who was lovely, but who moved so slowly through the material that I thought I was going to lose my mind. She was literally supposed to move twice as fast because they’re on block scheduling, but she really wanted us to learn something so she moved at a snail’s pace, but I had an unfair advantage due to my French class and I’m also pretty good at languages, plus I was bitter about moving and not having French, so I was mad as crap.
So, I get to college and take French again. Four semesters of it. And towards the end, it was getting hard, and I didn’t know when I would actually ever use it, so I was exhausted. Regardless, I really love French, and I have since elementary school.
Fast forward to 2019 when I’m building my goals for 2020. Happy Year of the Rat, by the way. 😀
I decided to study French and/or Spanish. French because I want to plan a trip to Quebec, and while they speak English, too, I think it would be cool to like actually understand what people are saying and not just a handful of words. However, I found myself trying to talk myself into doing Spanish first, because it’s more “practical.” As in, I’m more likely to use it. HOWEVER, this is me we’re talking about. When am I EVER practical?!
Never. The answer is never. I do what I want.
So for three weeks, I forced myself to study Spanish. And. I. Hated. It.
The French have their dumb rules, too, but I got really used to them after three total years of studying the language. For three weeks, I’m looking at Spanish rules, and I’m just like, “Why tho?” Like why are Vs sometimes pronounced as Bs and sometimes not? It doesn’t make any sense?! Not to mention, I don’t actually WANT to learn Spanish. I can say, Hola, lo siento pero no hablo espanol, and that’s enough.
So, I had a meltdown over this. Because it’s me. And my mom is like, “Just do French. You’ve always liked French, and you actually want to do it.” Makes sooo much sense, right?
I decided then that I would switch to French after I finished my Spanish workbook. I thought it would aggravate the OCD to leave the workbook unfinished. However, after two more days of lessons, I told myself to stop stressing myself out. It’s not that serious. This is supposed to be fun. I’m not having fun. SO QUIT IT!
So I did. 😀
While my French accent is laughable, at least I’m in the ballpark. I’m no where close to pronouncing the Spanish right, and that is frustrating for me. And bad for my fragile self-esteem. Haha.
For the record, after the workbook is done, I’m switching to audio & visual lessons. I tried Spanish with that a few years ago, and I wasn’t motivated to continue then either. So it was like, why on earth am I taking my precious free time and spending it on something I’m not enjoying?!
Also, also, there’s been too much on my plate in general of late, so aggravating myself with Spanish wasn’t helping. I have a side project I’ve been working on, and I realized I could finish it on Monday instead of Saturday like I planned, so I went ahead and finished it to free up that mental space in my brain. While I was at it, I made a couple more tweaks to my schedule, and now, for the first time all year, I can actually relax and enjoy my life. ^_^
And shouldn’t I enjoy my life? Bien sur. Of course. 🙂