So, I wanted to talk about why I changed projects. Again. For the 900th time. 😀
Exciting things happen in the “Phantom Silence” project, and I could make myself write it, but I don’t like “making” myself write, especially since I don’t have to.
I wanted to write, so that wasn’t the problem. I was just all kinds of unmotivated, and nothing was helping. Every time I opened my project, I was bored, so I was like, “why don’t I just have a dead body show up?” But it’s like, the story doesn’t need a dead body. I actually had a dead body in my mental outline. But it makes no sense. There’s no logical reason for it to be there. No one has a motive to kill that person, so the body was only showing up because I was bored.
I talked to my sister about being bored, and she’s like, “so have something exciting happen.” Sure, it’s my story, I can do whatever I want, but here’s how I think: I’m Dr. Frankenstein, cooking stuff up in the lab. Once I bring these monsters to life, they’re the sum of whatever I put into them. I can’t just add pieces. They’ll fall off! And not only is that disgusting imagery, they don’t fit. Also, my sister said that I didn’t sound excited about this story when I talked about it. O.O
So. I started thinking some time last month that maybe I just wanted something bloody. However, that’s not quite it either. I had a project where some guy gets his head cut off in the first chapter, but it’s like, I don’t care about that dude! And my character isn’t invested in it. She’s just going through the motions. It doesn’t cause her any turmoil. I need turmoil! I want the death to hurt someone I care about! Someone doesn’t have to die in chapter one, of course. Nothing needs to explode. I just need something that bleeds at some point and someone to cry super hard about it when it happens. That’s all. ^_^
“Phantom Silence” has no blood-related turmoil unless I force it in. It has a few creepy moments, sure, but it’s not that kind of story. STILL, that isn’t the entire problem. The third piece of the puzzle that caused me to want to jump ship is that the character is a good person, and I’m just not in the mood for that right now. Like it’s boring me into a creative coma.
That said, I don’t mind a story with nothing creepy, no blood, and a nice, upstanding protagonist, but currently, the character needs to be a hot mess in some way or I just can’t. It’s the same issue I had with Project “Pinewood Falls.” She’s such a good person, and that is boring to me right now. The character doesn’t need to have questionable morals, but at the very least, I want their life to be kind of awful. ^_^
I do want to write “Phantom Silence” — and “Pinewood” — at some point. I’m just not motivated right now. And since I have other options that I am motivated to write, why not work on one of those?
Of course, I could change any of these projects to fit my mood, but to do that, I have to put the idea back in the pot, melt the monster down, and reshape it. That’s fine, but it’s not getting written right now if I have to do that. Also, there are times when I’m totally in the mood for a slower paced story with no blood. So, why risk ruining a perfectly good idea when I can just set it aside until it fits what I want? Exactly. 😀
Setting this story aside wasn’t easy. It never is. It might be two years or more before I get back to it since I’m on a mission to rewrite the stories that are haunting me, minus the one that’s probably a dud. Thing is, I’m okay with that. So, really, I should have changed projects sooner! There’s no benefit of “powering through” when it’s this unnecessary. I’m just delaying the inevitable.
In any case, I’ve been working on the other project for a few weeks now and recently passed 15k. I’ll chat about that next week. ^_^
Okay, off to stick my head in the sand. 😛