The Amazing 2013…

I had such high hopes for this year. Thirteen is half of my favoritest number, making it favoritest odd number. (Yep.) But alas, it just didn’t live up to the hype. I spent most of the year watching all my hopes and dreams fall to ruin around me. cue slow melodramatic drum solo

“Here dreams. Over here. No, not there. I said NOT THERE!!” hiss

I just knew if any year would be great it would be 2013. I was working on something that didn’t have blood-sucking fiends in it for the first time in 5 years! (And only the 2nd time in 10!) I loved what I was writing. And I had finally decided to stop fighting writing YA and give into inspiration when it strikes in that category. In the early writing days, one of my biggest fears was getting published in YA and being stuck there. Stupid as it may sound, I thought once you were published, you weren’t allowed to write anything else. Tis true. I wanted to be able to write whatever I wanted, whatever struck me. As the saying goes: live in learn. 🙂

But yeah, 2013 turned out the be the year my dreams turned to ash. I racked up more rejections and partial drafts this year than the previous 5 years put together. I didn’t get any closer to my dream of publication. In fact, I seem to be further away than ever. However, all is not lost. I learned A LOT about myself as a writer. So I’d like to take a moment to highlight the Top 13 Reasons Why 2013 Isn’t The Suckiest Year Ever…(in no particular order)

13 I proved to myself that I can work under pressure, and won NaNo!! (earning me a t-shirt and winner’s badge with my favoritest odd number on it!)
12 It’s okay to take an extended break when your brain is fried you’re tired.
11 I got over my fear of participating in writing contests.
10 They finally put up fiber-optic cable towers in my neighborhood! (ha, ha)
9 I finally accepted that just because I love cats SO much, that didn’t mean I needed to have one right now. (I know, random, right?)
8 Having someone to talk to about writing stuff is like the greatest thing ever.
7 I made some new writing friends & discovered some awesome new blogs to stalk. ^_^
6 “I am a writer, and I will write what I want to write.” (JK Rowling)
5 I attended my first Writer’s Conference!
4 Two + Two only always equals Four if you only ever use the left side of your brain.
3 I love magic. It’s okay to have someone with magic powers in every single story that I write.
2 Despair can only beat me if I refuse to get back up again.
1* I realized I don’t have to always be trying something completely new & different to grow as a writer.

That last one is especially important for me. One of the things I learned in trying so many different things this year is how much I love, LOVE dark, creepy, real-world(ish) fantasy. That’s just what I gravitate towards. And while it’s okay to flex some muscles outside of that, I can flex just as many muscles inside of it. And that’s one of my goals for next year: to experiment more under the umbrella of my expertise. Because that is where I’m happiest and where I thrive and where I want to live.

One last thing before I sign off and pretend like I’m actually going to end the year writing or reading and not watching seasons 3 & 4 of The Office: I have a big birthday coming up. And while I realize I look like a teenager, it doesn’t make turning this number any easier. I just hope by the time my birthday comes around in May, I will be able to say it, embrace it, and celebrate it and not feel like a failure because I’m not published and don’t have an awesome pet to pester me when I’m trying to write. I would really, really like to stop beating myself up and move into a year bookended by a number that is just okay and keep fighting for my poor exhausted dreams. (pokes at dreams “You are still alive, yes?”) Which is my second and last goal for the year: Keep Fighting. Which is honestly the last thing I want to do right now. So I have no expectations for next year. I only want it to be better than this year. And the numerically superstitious ocd part of my brain is like, “14, huh? meh? Wake me up when you turn 32.” Erm…thanks?

To 2014 – May I remember to stop The Office long enough to watch the ball drop in Times Square on TV. Or not…


  • Michelle A (@SunflowerRei)

    Here’s to 2014, a year in which I hopefully get to whine about query letters. Sometimes I really wonder why I do this to myself, don’t you? Like, who wants to read my stuff? And then the egotistical part of my brain goes, “Well, somebody will want to! Really!”

    I’m sure you’ll get going on a project and it’ll be the one…maybe not 2014, but SOON. I’m going to be 28 in January and my writing clock is ticking, too.

    • krystal jane

      Totally. I’m trying to suspend sending out another query as long as possible. Lol! I can’t wait to tag along with you on your journey. ^_^ I hope it goes well.

      It is almost like a clock, right? It’s ridiculous, but sometimes I really feel like it’s a certain age or never ever. Gosh, I freaked when I turned 28. It’s really nothing to freak out about though. Hindsight being 20/20 or whatever. 🙂

  • Laurie

    I can relate to so much in this post! Good luck for 2014. I hope it’s a happy year, full of fulfilling stuff and lots of writing! I’m also hoping for changes after a disappointing 2013, but I’m hoping that, whatever happens, I can just be at peace with how things turn out, regarding writing and life in general! All the best!

    • krystal jane

      Thank you! 🙂
      I’m hoping for peace no matter what, too. I guess there’s really not too much I can beat myself up for anyway if I tried and did the best I could.
      May this year be better for us both! ^_^

  • Thea Landen

    Blogger’s being wonky and this post just showed up in my feed today, grrrr.

    Rejections sting, there’s no getting around that, but after I’m done alternating between sniffling and declaring “WHATEVER THEY DON’T KNOW ME IT’S THEIR LOSS RAAARGH”, I do try to take a step back and objectively evaluate. All part of the learning experience, right? (I know, some days that’s easier to believe than others.)

    Here’s to an awesome 2014! Good luck!

    • krystal jane

      I have problem with the feed sometimes, too.

      The learning process never ends, does it? *sigh* Lol! That’s how we get better though, aye? 🙂

      Cheers to the new year! Let’s rock it!

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