Anniversary,  Excerpt,  Story Graveyard,  Story Vault

Blast from the Past

As part of my celebrations for the 16 year anniversary of my first completed novel attempt, I’ve sifted through the vault and decided to embarrass myself by posting an excerpt for your amusement. Introducing novel number 5 – Played for a Fool. ^_^ (circa May 2001 – Genre: YA Fantasy with a supernatural or paranormal bend, depending on how you view vampires. POV: 3rd omniscient with one MC and a secondary POV.)

Novel numbers 1 & 2 were not in the running as they are so bad, they’re not even buried with the rest. I was very tempted to go with the first novel I queried (number 8), but I was very much afraid I’d be tempted to revive it and some things just should never see the light of day again. Lol!

May you crack a smile or split a seam. 

*I’m going to preface these excerpts by saying…there were many mechanical errors that I’ve corrected in typing these because I just couldn’t stand it.*

First, here’s the end of the hilariously bad court scene from Chapter 11:

“We the jury find, Brooke Daniels, on the account of attempted murder, not guilty. On the account of physical assault, we find her guilty. On the account of her possibly having a mental illness, we find her guilty.”

“On behalf of the court,” the judge said, “I sentence Brooke Daniels to no less than one hundred and seventy days at Hillshine’s Juvenile Psychiatric Facility.”


>The following occurs in the next scene after, same chapter:

Tears streamed endlessly down Brooke’s face as the clerks at Hillshine shut and locked the door to her padded walls room. Her fingernails and toenails have been cut off, and her head was shaved completely bald.

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t leave me in here alone he’ll get me.”

“Sure he will, princess,” one of the clerks said from the other side of the door.

“No, don’t go. Please. He’s coming. I can sense him.”

“Who’s coming?” another clerk asked.

“The vampire. He’s going to kill me tonight,” Brooke said.

The clerks laughed. “Give her another shot in ten minutes,” one said. “That oughta shut her up.”

“Someone help me!” Brooke cried banging on the door. “Please!”

“I’ll help you sweetheart,” a voice with a slight Italian accent said from the shadows.

Brooke slowly turned around to face him. “Go away,” she whispered. “Haven’t you already done enough damage! What more do you want from me?”

“Why, I want your life, Brooke, darling,” Stevon said stroking her cheek.

“Why me?” Brooke asked.

“You’re not special, Brooke,” Stevon said savagely in an un-Stevon-like voice. “I’m just using you so that I’ll be powerful enough to go after the real prize.”

“The real prize?”

Stevon looked off into space. “Valerie.”


>And here’s a quickie from Chapter 12 with the main character, Valerie:

“There’s this guy. He’s been stalking me and sending me notes. I think he’s the reason Brooke went crazy.” She took a deep breath. “I think he tried to tell me that he was a vampire and that he wanted to turn me into one! Do you think I’m crazy?”

Spencer laughed. “I don’t know what to think,” he said shaking his head. “Who is he?”


Spencer’s gaze darkened.


And thus ends my walk down memory lane. I’m off to find some sand to stick in my head into.


  • Thea

    Every now and then I dig out the reeeeeally old stuff (cough fanfic from an old Sega series cough cough) and flip through. Some of it is totally cringe-inducing and I'm embarrassed to have my name on it. Some other stuff, though, really isn't half bad. But god, I hope I've gotten better. A lot better.I am kind of wondering about the physical assault Brooke committed, though…. 😉

  • Rei Michelle

    Oh, Krystal. If you want to go read some truly awful stuff, go look up Book the First on my blog. Ugh. I did some posts a while back called "An Experiment" where I posted bits and pieces of a whole range of old work of mine. I think all writers go back to look at the old stuff and cringe. By the way–I might steal your "story graveyard" tag one of these days.

  • krystal jane

    Lol! Yeah, I'm so embarrassed of some of my stuff, I have it buried in the bottom of an unmarked drawer.All my old stories crack me up. If I need a pick me up and a reminder of how far I've come, I dig one out and read a few pages. Surprisingly, mistakes and horrible plot lines aside, I usually find myself thoroughly entertained. Lol!

  • krystal jane

    There is definitely a lot of cringing involved. I probably cringe as much as I laugh at myself. I read some of Book the First. It's not so bad. Lol! Feel free to use the tag! 🙂 I like to keep the sad stories away from the good ones. Lol!

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