Mini Rants,  Vampires

Hey, There’s A Fang In My Soup!

With the promised emergence of Dracula coming to NBC this fall, this vampire fan is once again wildly excited about vampire media. I couldn’t get into the Vampire Diaries (but I wasn’t all that crazy about the books, so no surprise there). I’m sure there are other shows out there with vampires, but sadly I don’t know what they are. So I’ve had little contact with vampires on TV outside of my Buffy and Angel seasons on DVD and the short lived CBS show MOONLIGHT starring the awesome Alex O’Loughlin. Take note True Blood…this is what a mainstream modern day vampire is supposed to look like.

This guy made a great vampire! 

Not that I don’t like True Blood…well, I don’t after last season, but that said, even when I liked the show, I found it disgusting. So much so that it literally made me metaphorically nauseous at times. Yes, I discovered I have a rather low tolerance for bloody violence.

To commemorate the return of True Blood, here’s a quick list of things I don’t like about that show:
There’s too much blood. The vampires are gross. They’re pasty. Their teeth are in the wrong spot!!! (Russell Edgington is GONE!) And the Vampire Authority? Ugh.

WARNING: (mini rant) Have any self-control, much, people? Vampires don’t get 40 pints of blood all over the walls when they drink. Their teeth are small…They make little puncture wounds and then they SUCK. They don’t rip and gulp like they’re drinking from a blood fountain. And what’s up with the pastiness, anyway? Vampires of legend are pale. Pale because they have an aversion to sunlight. There’s a difference. (And hello, not all vampires have to be pale either. Or dead. Or hate the sun. Dare to be cheeky. Live a little.) And what’s up with the Vampire Authority? When it was mysterious, I didn’t have a huge problem with this one. But last season when they blew the lid off of it and made vampires look like a batch of crazy, religious, Lillith-worshiping cult followers…Are you kidding me? Just because you’re selling, doesn’t mean I’m going to buy. (FYI: None of this crap was in the books. At least not the in one of the 9 that I read.) Have the creators of that show ever seen a vampire on anything in their lives? Since when are vampire teeth like snake fangs sticking out beside your two front teeth? You’re not being original, it’s just weird and stupid. (And I don’t care what Charlaine Harris did in the books…FIX it! There’s no excuse, you people crapped all over the books anyway.) Curse the season 6 trailers for lulling me into another season. (end rant)

His teeth are in the right place!! YAY!

Vampires have always fascinated me with their power. Where it comes from depends on the legend being drawn upon. But some of the most popular powers are enhanced senses, strength, and speed, and the ability to hypnotize their victims. Others I like: mind reading, healing power in their blood, a natural agility and athleticism – able to climb high walls and jump down from them, and in some legends, shapeshifting, most popularly into a bat, of all things. I’m really looking forward to seeing how the new Dracula wields his powers this fall!

I think Johnathon Rhys Meyers is a great candidate for this role. He has naturally haunting and intense eyes that will work great for the character. Plus, he’s super talented, as well. When I first heard about it, I admit, I rolled my eyes. Like, “not another one” right? But now that I’ve seen the promotion posters and season trailer, I can’t wait. I hope the Dracula team does the story justice and has fabulous writers behind it so the show has a nice, long life. Because we vampire fans need some decent vampire crap to watch.

No offense Damon and Stefan (of Vampire Diaries) and Bill and Eric (of True Blood)…you guys are just no match for a real vampire. ^_^

There’s a small chance this will send me into a vampire story writing frenzy.


  • Thea

    I'll admit I never got into the whole vampire craze. I did enjoy the original Dracula when I read it back in the day, but the book made it clear that vampires scary not sexy. I'll also admit to enjoying the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series for a while (until it went to absolute shit around book 13 or so).For everything else (from Twilight to True Blood), I've remained intentionally blissfully ignorant, but who knows? If it looks compelling enough (and is on a channel in our cable package), I might check it out!

  • SunflowerRei (Michelle)

    I never got into the vampire thing either, though I did read the Twilight books and tried to rewrite Interview With the Vampire when I was 9. But Jonathan Rhys Meyers does have that vampiric look about him–at least, more than he resembled Henry VIII in The Tudors. This time, his "Crazy Eyes" will fit the part.

  • krystal jane

    I heard the Vampire Hunter series went to pot after a while. I never got into Twilight, but True Blood was recommended to me by a friend. It's one of those rare cases where the TV show is actually a little better than the books. At least until HBO went on their tangent with the source material last season.I'm super excited about this show, and I'm still only giving it three episodes to win me over.

  • krystal jane

    Lol! That's exactly what I called them in The Tudors, "Crazy Eyes." Lol! I loved that show. I'm still mad they didn't do a Bloody Mary season. I think that girl would have been great at it. You tried to rewrite Interview when you were 9?! Wow, I didn't read that book until I was 20! I tried to force myself to read Twilight. Only read the first chapter. I didn't find anything wrong with the chapter, I just really didn't want to read it.

  • Beverly Fox

    This is my very first time hearing about the upcoming Dracula show and I must admit, my first reaction is what yours was: eyes rolled back up into my head at the thought of another crappy vampire show. But I will look into it, because I love the original source material and if they're going to try to be at all loyal to that it could have promise (even if it is on NBC which, in general, makes crap.)I was IN LOVE with True Blood when it first came out. Loved Sookie and Bill, loved Sookie's grandma, LOVED Eric. Then season 2 came and I was pretty turned off by Maryann but I liked Godric and that whole story line. Then season 3 got me excited again with the werewolves and Russell (who was the best thing- ever!). Then season 4 came and sucked the life out it. Save for Sookie finally hooking up with Eric there was nothing redeemable about it. And last season- all season- all I could think was "Why am I still watching this show? How many braincells am I killing by watching this tripe?" Honestly, I'd be perfectly happy to end it there but the hubby still wants to give the next season a chance. He tells me "Just assume it'll be the stupidest thing you've ever seen and then you might actually enjoy it." Hope he's right.In the meantime, I'll recommend the Christopher Moore vampire trilogy. It's funny rather than dramatic but the vampire powers are cool and the characters are so endearing. I've read the first two and have the last to look forward to. I'm sure True Blood will sending me running to them for relief.

  • krystal jane

    Yeah, I don't watch anything on NBC. Lol! I'm hoping this will be a rare gem. We're totally on the same page with True Blood. I zoned out half of season 4 and suffered quite miserably though season five. I'm really hopping this is it. Lol! If I didn't have a friend who's going to tell me all about it anyway, I wouldn't bother. I'm going with your husband's suggestion. Lol! I'll just prepare for it to be awful. Thanks for the book recommendation! I'll definitely check that series out!

  • Elise Fallson

    I'm with you guys about TB. I got into it last year, but by the time I got caught up I was kinda disappointed. The whole Lillith and Bill thing was just over the top and dumb. I was really into it the first couple of seasons, but now I'm, meh about it. But I do like Jason Stackhouse and Lafayette, they get some of the funniest lines. Anyway, I'll give it a few episodes to see if it's worth continuing. It almost seems like the first 5 years of a TV series are the best. After that, it goes downhill fast. That's kinda how I'm feeling right now as I start season 6 of Super Natural. Anyway, the new Dracula show does look promising and I agree with you about Jonathan Meyers, he makes a great looking vampire. But I also thought he was brilliant in Match Point.

  • krystal jane

    I love Jason and Lafayette. Lafayette died in the books, in some really stupid plot line that made little sense and Jason became a werepanther. Those are a couple plot points out of a few that I'm glad the show changed. But yeah they totally lost me with Lillith crap. I haven't watched the premier yet. I'll wait for my friend to tell me about it at work tomorrow. Lol!

  • Elise Fallson

    I had heard that Layfayette died in the books which I think is a shame. But to be honest, I never got into the series and only read Dead Until Dark. It'll be interesting how the premier turns out…I'm tempted to take a peek at what critics have to say….

  • T. Drecker

    I enjoy vampire stories, but I have to admit, I didn't care for the Vampire Diaries either. Nope, not at all. And now that I admitted it, I feel so much better. Thanks 🙂

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