Category Archives: TV

Dance Moms: The Trainwreck

Anyone who knows me knows that when I’m neck deep in a story, the first thing I cut out is television. So I don’t watch much TV. Less to pile up on me when I’m in a writing hole. But I especially don’t watch a lot of reality TV. I gave up on the value of that the first time I watch The Real World on MTV. I don’t know what season it was, but I never watched it again.

I watched one season of The Bachelor because I heard the bachelor that year was from Nashville. (GO TN!) I also never watched that again. My sister got me into Project Runway, but when they extended it to a brain numbing hour and a half long, we quit watching. Like I wanted an extra 30 minutes of drama. I was watching because I love sewing and I loved the mini fashion show at the end.  A lot of people don’t know this, but I once wanted to be a writer/fashion designer. I carried that dream until I was a senior in high school and felt I had to choose. I chose writing easy. I could, after all, sew on the side. I could not write on the side. Writing was my entire identity.

Speaking of my sister, she got me into Dance Moms. She loves dance. We go to the ballet every year. Unfortunately, the show is called Dance MOMS. So, even though they have the performances at the end that are often very good, there is 45 minutes of horrible crap that I have to wade through to get to it. My sister stopped watching over a year ago. She couldn’t take it anymore. I held on until 2 episodes into the current season.

Frankly, the constant screaming and manufactured drama just grates on my nerves. If they were really fighting, security would step in. I know this because they have, and it wasn’t entertaining, it was scary. The damage those moms are doing to their children is disgusting. But I don’t care about that. I care about my nerves. And I hate yelling. I completely tense up when people are yelling. And I know I’m far from the only one.

Focus on what you can control, right? I couldn’t control the show, so I stopped watching it. What was the point of even fast forwarding through it all the time? Most of the dances are uploaded to Lifetime’s YouTube page. (And seriously, I had gotten to the point where I was fast forwarding through most of the show.)

The thing is, my sister had a problem with Abby. I didn’t even have a problem with Abby. My problem has only always been the NOISE. Even the moms I didn’t like, I could deal with them and the nagging and the complaining and the stupidness, as long as they weren’t yelling. But every season the show gets louder. It’s like a toddler. They think the louder they scream the better. But all they are really doing is deafening their parents and making the rest of us wish we could kick them out of the store.

The other thing is, I hate manufactured drama. Even if I’m watching a drama – I hate drama for the sake of drama. Like, when you KNOW two people are going to end up married because it’s based on a true story, but the writers insist on dragging it out anyway, and making up stupid uncharacteristic barriers anyway. I hate that. If it makes sense, it’s totally fine. I’m talking about when it doesn’t make sense.

I watched this other Lifetime show, Drop Dead Diva. You knew the plus-sized lawyer girl was going to end up with the cutie pants lawyer guy, Grayson, eventually. But near the end of the series, when they ran Grayson over with a car FOR NO DAMN REASON right before he was about to propose JUST to drag it out a little bit longer? That’s when I was sick. There was no reason to do that. And I still hate them for it.

Having her try to move on with the judge guy was TOTALLY FINE. Her kissing Grayson at both her wedding to the judge AND his wedding to some saucy intellectual was TOTALLY FINE. All of that was completely understandable and the fun kind of drama. But killing Grayson just to bring him back in some weirdo prisoner’s body was NOT OKAY. It was gross.

The legitimate drama of crazy moms was fine. Helicopter moms are, after all, insane by nature, and that can be hilarious. It was all the over the top yelling and storming out. And ugh, don’t even get me started on the moms individually. One of them has had a personality change over the course of the series that just makes her disgusting to look at now. Reality TV fame turns people into monsters. Hideous pus-filled-warts-covered monsters.

Actually, not always. There is a reality TV star in my very own city! I thought she was snotty before, but I respected that because she wasn’t fake, and I don’t mind snootiness anyway. Having her own TV show has made her a nicer person. Lol! I’m so serious. She shops where I work and she would barely acknowledge my presence before. Now that she thinks I watch the show, and I did watch the first season (because, hello, local!), she will actually smile at me and speak to me if I talk to her. So sometimes, shining a light in people’s faces makes them better. Or at least relaxes them a little. Sometimes. Plus, she came off as really sane and cool on the show, unlike some other members of her family, one of which also shopped where I work before she moved – she looked right crazy on TV. She was also super fake before, so while she was nicer, I didn’t like her. I’d take a snot over a fake any day. 🙂

Television Ate My Homework

One of the first things I cut back on when I’m in the writing zone is TV. This is what a DVR is for, yes? However, I find that in-between bouts of writer-madness, my DVR is on the verge on imploding or exploding or both, and it takes me weeks to catch up. So I… Continue Reading

Filed Under: TV

A Tear for the Strong One

Every so often I run across a book review that beats to the drum of, “She’s running around thinking about boys and crying. I thought she was strong. She’s so fracking weak!!” Let’s get this one thing straight. Falling in love doesn’t make your character weak. It takes strength to fall in love. Second, strength… Continue Reading