Should Anti-Social People Use Facebook?

Over the last few months, I talked with my family a few times about deleting my Facebook author page and was met with absolutely no support. I seem to have a problem with making decisions. I worry a lot about stupid stuff and rather I’m making the right decision or not. It’s like when I’m between projects, I am ultimately the only one who can decide what to work on next, because I am the one doing the writing.

But the same holds true for literally everything else in my life. I am the only one who can make decisions for myself, and the longer it takes me to make a decision, the more I annoy the crap out of nearly everyone I know.

The problem with my Facebook page is that it exists, therefore I feel obligated to post something “interesting” on it. Except, I don’t want to. I don’t want to pretend like I have something interesting to say. Most of the time I don’t. Ask my journal. I tried journaling everyday for a month, and that resulted in entries that literally read like this: (actual excerpt from 2.17.19) “I did nothing again today except nap, pick up my contacts, & watch movies. And I was confused as to why I had four boxes in the box because I forgot I need one box for each eye.” (It was 2:15 a.m. – GO TO BED, KRYSTAL, DAMN!)

Also, when did I take a nap? I take probably three naps a year.

Anyway, it’s like, sure, I don’t tweet a lot, but I like Twitter. I like Instagram. So I lurk and see what other people are doing, and sometimes I remember that I exist and say something as well. At the same time, I still don’t get the point. If I’m talking to someone, yes. But what am I trying to accomplish by tweeting my thoughts at no one?

I don’t use, or like, Facebook outside of my groups, which are the actual only reason I log onto Facebook at all. If I post on my timeline twice in one year, I’ve lost my mind. I don’t like to talk about what I’m doing. Or rather, the nothing that I’m doing.

I read an article before I published my first book that said we should only do the social media platforms that we like for this very reason. If we feel forced to use something, it’s going to show. Then this chick on YouTube, who will remain nameless because she is crazy in a bad way, said to have one anyway for the people who love Facebook, and she suggested just reposting stuff from other places, like Instagram.

Sure. But if you’re not regularly engaging with people who like your page, then less and less people see your content, until you are rendered actually invisible. Buffy the Vampire Slayer had an episode about someone who was rendered invisible from being excessively ignored – literally my worst fear. It’s triggering.

Social media is about having a conversation with people. It’s not about selling something. The only reason to have a Facebook page is to have a conversation about stuff with people who are already on Facebook and already like you. In order to have good engagement on a Facebook page, you have to regularly post content people are interested in, and they show that interest by liking, commenting on, and sharing your posts, very similarly to how YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter work. It’s why the same people engage with your posts all the time. Content you engage with is pushed to the top, and content you don’t engage with is suppressed. No one scrolls super far down their feeds, and who cares about Aunt Sally’s gnome collection anyway? (I love gnomes, by the way.)

But like, if someone wants to talk to me, they can post a comment here or tweet at me or send me a message on Instagram or even freaking email me. Who is on Facebook that I need to be available to talk to who can’t reach me some other way?

The answer is NO ONE. If someone wants to reach me, they can. I’m not less available by not being on Facebook.

I was going to post this “interesting” foray into my social media ineptness and then ask for your advice, but I realized, I was just keeping myself stuck in this circle of indecision. It’s like when I’m trying to settle on a project, I ask for advice because I want someone to tell me that it’s okay to do what I want. And it’s like, what the eff?

As it stands, I’m currently deciding to leave the page up. However, I’m never going to force myself to be sociable, which will eventually render the page digital clutter. Sometimes I just want to simplify my life! But I guess if I stop stressing myself about it, it won’t cause me any stress? 😛 Thoughts? ^_^

10 Responses to Should Anti-Social People Use Facebook?

  1. Ooh! So in one of my classes, we talked about Google and other search engines, including some of the shady ish Google has been doing in terms of possibly violating copyright or the way they push results up and down in a search and of course, all the shadiness Facebook has been doing. I find Facebook less and less engaging as time goes on. I still have my author page up (which I think about deleting every other week, so you’re not the only one) and I do have a lot of people I talk to through Facebook messenger or only keep up with on Fb, so I’m hesitant to completely leave it in a writing or a personal capacity. But I did log out and change the password, when I had myself logged in permanently on Facebook for years, so now I have to log myself in to check it on my computer. Even that’s helped me not look at it so much. (Plus, you know, grad school workload)

    I love Twitter, as you know, and I love that I can babble about something succinctly or follow cool people or whatever.

    I only use Goodreads to keep track of my reading; never really got into the groups on there and I like Pinterest, but I can also neglect it which is great. There’s no FOMO on Pinterest. Real Me also has LinkedIn, which I don’t look at too much.

    I’m far more sociable in writing and online than I am in real life, so I like those aspects of social media, but I am more wary about what data some of them probably have on me and where that data is going.

    I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just do my own post on social media 🙂

    • Post it! 😀

      I never look at LinkedIn. I forget about it. I know a few people who have gotten off Facebook completely, but I still want to stay on the personal side for now, though they are seriously spying on everyone all the time. Everyone I know, except myself because I never see my Facebook ads, has gotten an ad for something they’ve verbally talked to someone about. Like ew. Why are their bots listening to everyone!

      But really, so glad I’m not the only one! I feel saner. ^_^

  2. Honestly, I’ve been considering getting rid of my author FB page for awhile now. I can’t get rid of my personal one simply because it’s how I keep in contact with my kids and other relatives…well, this last group a little less. Plus, I’m in several FB groups (writing and review orientated) which are very helpful. Which just made me wonder… are you involved in any of those? It’s not so much about constantly posting (Ummm..I don’t do that unless you count a like or comment every few months as avid), but there are things which pop up and have proved extremely helpful in marketing and such. Poke me if you want some groups because there are several which you might find useful.

    Lol! And now, I messed up my own answer because I was going to say ‘Go ahead and delete it’. Now, my reasoning on this side: I’m not in Instagram (no cell phone here *gasp*) and would love to be, since it’s more important than FB on the marketing end. But I think with Twitter and Instagram and this blog, you’ve got the social media end more than covered. Do what is useful and fun. Never force anything that long you feel uncomfortable with.

    On a side note: After seeing your journal entry, I’d love to be you for a few days! And what show were you binging? 😉

    • We can switch for a few days. I think a bit of farm time will be good for me. Lol! I think that was the weekend I watched Venom and The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. And I was also watching a cycle of America’s Next Top Model. Lol!

      I like what you said: “Do what is useful and fun.” Shouldn’t we all have more fun?! ^_^

      I’m definitely in for more author groups. I’m in IWSG, Writer’s Unite, and a sci-fi and fantasy authors group.

      • I am SO up for the few day trade. My to-do list is so huge thanks to the beginning season (fence posts replacing, fallen tree cutting and splitting, mowing, brush-hogging, small engine repair, deck painting, gardening, etc). I emailed you 2 FB groups but will get several more to you soon. 🙂 I need to get a little bit more organized (add that to the to-do list too)

  3. I had a bad experience with the book of Faces about a year ago – several unauthorized log-in attempts were made on my account, ranging from all over the US, but some made in a city nearby (not close enough to be my address area, but close enough that I could know this person from real life). It made me really uncomfortable and I almost shut the page down. I started to go through the process, started a new friends-and-family-only account, then decided to leave it up after changing my password five times, unfriending a few individuals who had made odd comments (from that address area). I still have that page, but I rarely use it now when I used to be a rabid user of their services – like posting five times a day regularly. I’m now into Instagram (I know it’s owned by the same company and no more secure than the other place) and I use Twitter more regularly. I decided I like them both more.
    I keep both of my facebook pages open because there are a few people who message me through them and I use the old author one to highlight any of my publications or current work I want to be obnoxiously salesy about.
    Using the platforms we like best makes the most sense. I just can’t quite get rid of the contacts on my author facebook page – who knows, maybe it will still bear some fruit.

    • Book of Faces. ^_^ Sounds like something from Game of Thrones.

      I like Instagram and Twitter a whole lot more, too. 🙂 I haven’t had major security issues with Facebook yet. I’ll hold on to my page as long as I can not stress about it.

  4. I am SO ready to delete my Facebook. The few times I’ve gone on vacation/camping/whatnot where I couldn’t access FB were so awesome. I had this itch to get on there, but I couldn’t scratch it, and somehow it was uncomfortable, but at the same time it was like this whole weight was lifted. I’m with you–the whole thing feels like an obligation and I’m pretty much over it. The only reason I’m even on Facebook at this point is because of my author’s page. Which ironically I never post on, but I keep thinking “Someday I’ll need it,” and with a thousand-and-some likes on it, I don’t want to start over from scratch.

    Can you give ME some advice?

    Sorry, not helpful. 😉

    • Lol! I’m so glad I talked about this! I was over here thinking I might be on an island by myself about it. Really, it’s helpful to know that other people feel the same, even if none of us know what to do about it. 😀 The only reason I haven’t deleted my author page yet is similar to yours – I’m afraid I’ll change my mind and have to start over, even though I’m so far from 1000. I think sometimes though, is there really a benefit to any of it if we’re not excited about it? What kind of “good” content can I possibly post if I’m dragging my feet all the time?

  5. ^ Good points. The thing is, even though my page has a respectable number of likes, very few people engage with it even when I do post. So the whole thing feels shallow, like I’m keeping it for a number, but not for anything real. I should just delete the thing and be done with it.

    (She says as she doesn’t delete it) 😛

Hi! ^_^