#WIPMarathon #25

Shortest month of the year, y’all! ^_^
So, before I get to the update, just a warning, I’ve been struggling with some very low moods the last couple of weeks. I’m trying, but apologies in advance if I sound like a miserable cow.

Last report wordcount + chapter count:
“The Inescapable” = 41,853 words, Chapter 19 – outline finished

Current report WC + CC:
“The Inescapable” = 69,421 words, Chapter 36 – first draft finished

WIP Issues This Month:
Ugh, I know I finished the story and should be all excited, but I’m not. Without going into too much detail, I had some kind of crisis right after I finished that resulted in me wanting to throw this to the fire. I did talk about it, and I am feeling a whole lot better. So as it stands now, I’ve decided not to make any rash decisions and just find something else to work on while I get some mental distance from this project. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this upon a finishing a first draft before – just really stressed about it and depressed. I don’t usually finish things when I feel like this. I know I wanted to finish the story, I’m just not really sure WHY I wanted to finish it, if that makes any sense. In any case, I have some plot bunnies in the works, and I have a forerunner, but I haven’t committed to anything yet – I just finished the story on Wednesday.

What I learned this month in writing:
1 – I need to edit more as I write. I know this might sound like crazy making, but I seriously don’t deal well with crap and perceived crap. Editing while drafting isn’t about making things the best they can be – it’s about having less crap to deal with when I’m done.

2 – I don’t need to get any kind of feedback on my story before I’m finished. Again, I know this might sound crazy, but to me, it means I don’t have any confidence in the story, and if I don’t have confidence, I don’t need to write it.

That doesn’t mean I won’t ask for a second set of eyes when I’m finished or ask my writing buddy if it’s okay to have several bloody death scenes in my story because I’m having a crisis one day. It means even little things like, “there’s too much telling in that one paragraph” mess me up. I’m OCD. I really can’t help it. I fixate on little stuff for hours – to the point where I want to trash the entire story. I can’t keep pretending like I’m not crazy and aggravate myself on purpose because I’m trying to “get over it.” It is the exact opposite of helpful. It is SO hard for me to keep doing what I want after someone’s picked at the flaws in my unfinished draft. When I’m in editing mode it’s fine because I’m in that “fix crap” mindset anyway, but not while I’m drafting. I don’t need to think about stuff like that while I’m drafting.

What distracted me this month while writing:
I really don’t know. When I want to write, I usually write, and I did. I just feel like I dragged my feet a lot. The story only got finished really because I didn’t sleep at all two nights this week, and I haven’t been able to stay up all night and all day like that in years.

Goal for next month:
Start a new project. I’m about 100% sure of what I’m going to pick because I’m the most excited about it and I feel like it’s the most ready, but I’m going pretend like I don’t know and look at all my choices anyway. 😛

I hope February has been a great month for everyone! Have a great Leap Day. 🙂

17 Responses to #WIPMarathon #25

  1. Congrats on finishing that draft and writing so much–because YES, you should be proud of yourself!

    It’s not uncommon to have doubts about your projects. I’m closing in on the end of mine and am feeling meh about it. (And after shelving a 58k near-the-end one a few months ago–my SECOND attempt at that–I really don’t want to make that a habit!) But if you keep letting your fears stop you from moving forward, you’ll never get there! I wish we could feel passionate about all of our projects all the time…

    Good luck, and keep moving forward!

    • Thanks. 🙂 I rather finish something then leave it hanging so close to the end – I’ve done that before, too. I so hate that feeling! I much prefer the problem where I don’t want to finish it because I love it so much.

  2. Well, congrats on finishing! That’s a big deal! It’s done–let it (and yourself) rest. I’m drafting–I’m in the middle of chapter three and of course, I sort of had that “oh, man, this needs to be a big chapter and there has to be a gauntlet thrown down” thought, but really? I’m drafting. I know where I’m going. I’m just not sure how long it’ll take me to get there yet, so I need to chill out. The story, I think, can take care of itself.

    • Definitely resting. 🙂 Ooh, gauntlets! There’s definitely no need to rush. Sometimes I can draft really fast, but it’s totally not necessary. I’m really happy to see you back with this story!

  3. Congrats on finishing the draft! I’m the same when it comes to drafting — nobody aside from me gets to see my first drafts. I don’t mind getting feedback on even the second draft as long as it’s finished, but I can’t deal with having other voices in my head when I’m drafting. It disrupts the process too much. So you definitely aren’t alone in that!

    Hopefully one of those plot bunnies will turn into something shiny soon! 🙂

    • I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I was seriously starting to feel crazy. I read an interview once where an author said she used to never let anyone read her first drafts, but then she tried it and it didn’t mess her up, so I thought I’d try it, but I’ve done a few times now, and it definitely messes me up!

      Thanks! I hope I’m in happy drafting land soon. 🙂

  4. Congrats on getting through with your draft!
    I agree you have to find what works with you and if getting feedback messes you up and makes you want to dump your draft, then I’m with you in waiting till you’re done to get feedback! That’s totally okay!

    I hope March is splendid for you!

  5. Full first draft in the bag – huge congratulations. I, too, won’t let anyone read my first drafts until they’re finished – and then it’s only to find out if the plot’s decent or if it stinks (and only my husband and daughter are allowed to read my first drafts).
    I don’t edit my first draft along the way – unless something on the page socks me right in the eye (usually a spelling mistake or typo). I like to have the whole thing in front of me before I start the read through process – and then, and only then, do I use my red pen 😱
    Writers insecure? Wait, have to stop a minute as my other half’s circling round and I haven’t finished typing yet!

    Oh yes, I’m protective of my output. I won’t let anyone look at anything I’m currently working on (physically typing or writing out). I guess it’s because we’re creative beings and our creations are our children. We want to shape them so that they’re at least acceptable in mixed company before we let anyone else judge them.

    Whichever way you work, it’s your way – there is no right or wrong way, if it works for you that’s all that matters.

    Ruth

    • Thank you! Really, knowing that I’m not alone alone in some of my nuances is such a huge relief! I get super protective of everything I write, too. Even when I’m just jotting down senseless notes, I can’t stand to have people walking behind me. You totally nailed my issue – I at least want my baby to be a little less raw before start passing judgement on it. Lol! Thanks for dropping by and leaving this! It’s simply awesome. 🙂

  6. Congrats on finishing because this is a HUGE deal!!!! Totally feel you when you don’t want anyone to look at an unfinished draft. Second drafts are always tougher because you have to fix it all before you can even think about another pair of eyes on it. But do take a breather and rest. Sometimes when you give yourself a break, you’ll find all the answers to your questions coming to you. And DO CELEBRATE! Because this is AWESOME!

    • Thank you. ^_^ I used to celebrate after every draft. I haven’t done that in a while. By the way, I LOVE second drafts! Lol! 😀

  7. I’m right there with you on the first draft, and I think it’s absolutely a-ok!! For awhile I told myself that other writer, you know, REAL AUTHORS, all talked about exchanging chapters as they wrote them, and you MUST just get the words down without thinking twice, otherwise you’ll never finish.

    I think there’s wisdom in those concepts but they’re specific to the writer. I love reading others’ work chapter by chapter, or in batches. Makes it easier for me to feel less stressed about getting an entire MS back to them fast. At the same time, I need to get my ideas as they evolve into the screen without someone correcting me along the way. And like you, I’m grateful to bounce ideas back and for him that drafting stage, but as they say, the first draft of anything is sh*t, and I like to keep my sh*t to myself 😉 Then when I’ve had at least one revision, I feel ready to share!

    It’s totally whatever works, and I love these revelations when we see, oh, yeah, THIS is how I work! 🙂 I hope your mood picks up and your March is full of some beautiful things coming your way.

    • Lol! Typos excused. Way to multitask!

      Thank you so much! That’s exactly where I got the idea. I heard that a “real author” showed first draft stuff to her CP after never ever doing it before when she wasn’t a “real author.” So of course I had to try it! But yeah, I totally love these kinds of revelations, too. It’s not so fun figuring everything out the hard way, but it’s good. 😀

      And I think March is going to be a good month, too. 🙂

Hi! ^_^