Shortest month of the year, y’all! ^_^
So, before I get to the update, just a warning, I’ve been struggling with some very low moods the last couple of weeks. I’m trying, but apologies in advance if I sound like a miserable cow.
Last report wordcount + chapter count:
“The Inescapable” = 41,853 words, Chapter 19 – outline finished
Current report WC + CC:
“The Inescapable” = 69,421 words, Chapter 36 – first draft finished
WIP Issues This Month:
Ugh, I know I finished the story and should be all excited, but I’m not. Without going into too much detail, I had some kind of crisis right after I finished that resulted in me wanting to throw this to the fire. I did talk about it, and I am feeling a whole lot better. So as it stands now, I’ve decided not to make any rash decisions and just find something else to work on while I get some mental distance from this project. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this upon a finishing a first draft before – just really stressed about it and depressed. I don’t usually finish things when I feel like this. I know I wanted to finish the story, I’m just not really sure WHY I wanted to finish it, if that makes any sense. In any case, I have some plot bunnies in the works, and I have a forerunner, but I haven’t committed to anything yet – I just finished the story on Wednesday.
What I learned this month in writing:
1 – I need to edit more as I write. I know this might sound like crazy making, but I seriously don’t deal well with crap and perceived crap. Editing while drafting isn’t about making things the best they can be – it’s about having less crap to deal with when I’m done.
2 – I don’t need to get any kind of feedback on my story before I’m finished. Again, I know this might sound crazy, but to me, it means I don’t have any confidence in the story, and if I don’t have confidence, I don’t need to write it.
That doesn’t mean I won’t ask for a second set of eyes when I’m finished or ask my writing buddy if it’s okay to have several bloody death scenes in my story because I’m having a crisis one day. It means even little things like, “there’s too much telling in that one paragraph” mess me up. I’m OCD. I really can’t help it. I fixate on little stuff for hours – to the point where I want to trash the entire story. I can’t keep pretending like I’m not crazy and aggravate myself on purpose because I’m trying to “get over it.” It is the exact opposite of helpful. It is SO hard for me to keep doing what I want after someone’s picked at the flaws in my unfinished draft. When I’m in editing mode it’s fine because I’m in that “fix crap” mindset anyway, but not while I’m drafting. I don’t need to think about stuff like that while I’m drafting.
What distracted me this month while writing:
I really don’t know. When I want to write, I usually write, and I did. I just feel like I dragged my feet a lot. The story only got finished really because I didn’t sleep at all two nights this week, and I haven’t been able to stay up all night and all day like that in years.
Goal for next month:
Start a new project. I’m about 100% sure of what I’m going to pick because I’m the most excited about it and I feel like it’s the most ready, but I’m going pretend like I don’t know and look at all my choices anyway. 😛
I hope February has been a great month for everyone! Have a great Leap Day. 🙂