Motivation,  Writing Journey

Tripping Down Memory Lane :)

Last weekend, I decided to go through my email archives to see if I could find the story notes my first writing buddy sent me on a story I wrote back in 2008. This I do instead of writing. Lol! I was trying to remember something random she said about a side character.

I ended up combing through quite a few of her notes and reading through parts of story, and I started feeling agitated by how bad it was. Then I get to a scene where this girl and guy kiss for the first time – not the first time she kissed someone in the book – I skipped over that scene originally, but it’s actually one of the few scenes I can read from that story without cringing. I was surprised to find I still like it! She commented: “yay!” on that one (Lol!), and the comments she made on this second one were: “OMG…this scene is SO cute!” So, I double back and take a closer look at it.

And I hate it. I hate it now, and I’m pretty sure I hated it when I wrote it. It’s fine and whatever. It’s exactly what she said – it’s cute – almost too cute. But as I read over it, I thought to myself, “I was a very different person in 2008.” Not in a terrible way. Just different. Lol!

Out of curiosity, I jumped to 2011, which was the next time I wrote anything, and browsed through parts of that story as well. It still wasn’t good, but it was much better than the 2008 story – less cringing. Then I moved to 2013 and took a peek into all of those stories, skipping 2012, because I already think that story is great. (Ha,ha) I got pretty wrapped up in my little field trip actually. Three stories that year! Like a rock-star. 😛 However, I didn’t finish one of them. And as I was reading through that particular story, I don’t know, I just started thinking about how good it is and how I couldn’t believe I didn’t finish it.

I always get a kick of out it when I can get lost and wrapped up in parts of my own story. ^_^

This is what happens, of course, when you only read the good parts of a story. 😉 Because that story is not good, and I do know why I didn’t finish. (Though now I kind of want to finish it and try to fix it). It’s so well-written, and after skimming over it, the confidence I felt slipping away from me while I browsed the 2008 story was restored. I’ll have to remember this the next time I’m down. Just reread some older stuff (but not too old!) to show myself proof that I really am a good writer. ^_^

Even when I’m being critical of myself, I can’t argue with cold hard truth! Lol!

Anywho, I thought I’d do a mini story update while I’m here. ^_^ I’m still writing at some crazy speed. No idea why, but you know I’ll take it! I’m getting into the parts of the story where the truly crazy stuff starts to happen! 😀 Plus, twice now I’ve done some pretty awesome foreshadowing without realizing it. I thought I may have been getting carried away with the world building once, but I was like, I may not be if I’m going to trust my brain in any capacity, so I stopped stressing over it, and it turned out to be a really good thing! I had run out of outline, so I’m surprised I kept writing, really.

Don’t you love it when you do amazing things by accident? I also unintentionally creeped myself out pretty bad over some description of foliage. Don’t ask. It’s not creepy on purpose. It’s just the thought of it…makes my skin crawl even now.

In other good news: one of the crazy ideas in my plot bunny field is finally starting to make sense! Such a crazy ending, too. More good choices for me to pick from when this draft is done. ^^ And I’ve also gotten my voice back finally after being sick for over a week! My tree got up and decorated over the weekend, too, which is a tad late for me, but it’s up with two different colored lights. I thought it would look like a snow cone this way. It does not, but I really like it. It’s kind of funky. ^^ I also made an interesting looking gingerbread house for the first time. Took me a couple of hours. Not great at it, but now I can say I’ve made one. 🙂

I’m going to bring it into work next week and share it. ^_^


  • Tonja Drecker

    Lovely tree! It does look interesting. I’m in the process of getting ours up. The kids like to help with the decorating so I always have to wait until they get back from school. We’re late with our tree too thanks to all the rain last weekend…but then, I seem to be out of the flow on everything this year.
    Love that you got to read earlier MSs! I don’t glance back because I know I’ll cringe.

    • Krystal Jane

      We always used to decorate the tree together. ^_^

      Looking back isn’t so bad…sometimes. Lol! It’s nice to see how I still feel about them. It’s inspiring.

  • Michelle Tran (@michelletwrites)

    Pretty tree! Glad you are feeling better! I slowly am, too. I love going back through old stories. The first story I wrote out of college still makes me cringe. It’s not that well-written, but I love the voice in it. Now there’s a similar story published, so it’ll be shelved forever lol. Great to see you working on your WIP! From what I read it sounds so interesting!

    • Krystal Jane

      Thanks! I almost changed my mind about the lights, but they grew on me after a couple of days. I like reading old stories, too. Even if I cringe a lot, they’re just so funny. ^_^

  • Crystal Collier

    Yay for getting your voice back and WAHOO!! Write away, woman. Ride that horse as far as it will take you. I love it when you pull up old drafts and get inspired by them…or at least realize you’ve grown. That’s why I’ve vowed never to read my first published book again–so I don’t cringe over things I would change now. =)

    The tree is beautiful, but this slightly OCD part of me can’t look at it for too long. 😉

  • Sunflower Michelle

    Your tree is super interesting!

    I go back every so often to read old stories and I find myself getting into them. The writing is clunky, but it’s also not as horrible as I thought it was. Glad you’re feeling better. Wss your voice totally gone?

    • Krystal Jane

      Right! I just wanted to do something different with my tree this year. Lol!

      The old stories are sometimes better than I thought. They’re always entertaining if nothing else! ^_^

      Sometimes I couldn’t talk at all, but I didn’t completely lose my voice for more than a couple of hours at a time. I just sounded horrible for days.

  • sandiedocker

    Is it like going back over old diary entries??? When I was a teenager I’d keep a diary for a few weeks, let it lapse, go back a few months later, thin it was total drivel and throw it out. Then 6 months late, I’d start again – same cycle.

    I don’t think I’ll ever go back to read my first MS. It’s so bad I don’t even refer to it as my first, just kind of pretend it never existed, and started counting from the next one 😉

    • Krystal Jane

      I think it’s completely different. I’ve thrown out old journals, too. Reading old stories makes me happy – due in part because I laugh so much. But I tend to give myself some grace for anything before the first one I queried – we have to start somewhere! So I have a total novel count, a queried novel count, and then one more count starting in 2008 when I started writing novels that were actually long enough to be a novel. Lol! But I do keep the first two finished attempts away from the rest – they are a special kind of terrible, but they always pick me up when I’m down. 😀

  • Karla

    Lovely tree you got there, Ms. Krystal!
    Ha! Just the other day I was reading through my old stories. Sections I like, some I love, some make me giggle, and others are super duper embarrassing. 😡

      • Krystal Jane

        That’s funny. ^_^ I didn’t know I had that option! I’m so going to start using it!

        I definitely run the gambit of emotions too when I’m reading stuff. Sometimes I’m impressed, sometimes I wonder what I was thinking. Lol!

  • Jess Fairday's Blog

    What a pretty tree! Love seeing how it sparkles.

    It is definitely interesting to look back at our writing and see how we have grown. Glad you found some things you liked and that you have changed in ways that make you writing different today. 🙂

  • Thea Landen

    Ah, I love that trip. Sometimes I can’t stop cringing when I go back to read old stuff (in some cases, VERY old), but other times, I’m all “hey, this isn’t half bad!” My long-term goal is to keep adjusting that ratio. 😀

    Awesome tree!

    • Krystal Jane

      Thanks! Haha ^_^

      I don’t know if I’ve ever cried! I get a hysterical laughter thing going on. I’m so with you on the adjusting the ratio up more the other way!

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