I was hoping to be outlining my next project this week or at least getting a head start on it. However, in typically me fashion, I’m being bombarded with insecurity and doubt over the new idea.
I know this happens with everything I write, but the difference with this one is a couple of things:
1) It’s a medieval time period. I have another idea that’s set in medieval times, I’ve only just realized, but that is part of a series and only the first book is in the past. The rest will be modern day, and for some reason, the time period in that particular project isn’t bothering me at all, drawing all the more attention to the fact that it is bothering me in this one.
2) Sometimes my love and excitement for an idea clouds my judgement. I end up trying to force myself through something because I love it so much, and it just ends all kinds of busted.
3) Timing. I got this idea somewhere between reading a fairy tale retelling and buying FOUR fairy tale anthologies from the bookstore. Granted they are mostly the darker, more original versions of the fairy tales, but I’m afraid of running into this problem where I think I’m making meat loaf only to look down when I’m done and realize I was following a recipe for strawberry shortcake.
Seriously, this has happened. Story-wise, not actually-wise. I was writing a story that was dark and exciting and emotional but on paper it sounded like the backstory for a square on the Candy Land board.
The medieval idea isn’t a fairy tale, but there’s something about the setting that’s making me think that way, and it’s making me nervous because the last time this happened, I ended up with a story on my hands that I actually wouldn’t read if I saw it out in the wild. It wasn’t just in a genre I don’t read much in, it was a genre I don’t even like. I know it probably sounds confusing, but it happened, and I don’t want it to happen again. That story wasn’t a fairy tale either, but it sounded SO much like one when I would tell people about it.
I think I’m just freaking myself out, but I can’t be so sure. I’m a big believer following your instincts, you know, and if something is nagging at you, something is wrong, and I think something is nagging at me.
I know part of it is the plot. I do not have enough plot for a novel. I’ve had this idea for month. Usually by now I’m at least confident that all the elements will be in place when I get to it and can talk myself out of worrying about it. But this time, I think I’m going to get to March and I’m still going to have nothing.
Which is kind of affirming my fears that my excitement over this story has made incredibly blind to it’s shortcomings.
But who knows, I may get to March and everything’s okay. Or not. I did have a couple of plot bunnies escape from the plot bunny field this week, so it’s not like I don’t have options. I just know my track record. The older a story idea gets, the less likely I am to work on it, being that they are constantly getting overshadowed by newer ideas, and I tend to favor those sometimes over the older ones. The moment I choose to write something else over this one, the likelihood of this story getting written drops dramatically.
Okay, be honest, am I being crazy? Cause I feel crazy. I really wanted to outline something this month. I want to get the proper distance from “The Raven” (tentatively retitled “Blue-Eyed Raven” though the more I look at it the more I hate it), so I was going to just let it sit the entire month, but I can’t spend the next two weeks without SOMEthing to work on, I will lose my mind.