Wow, this month went by super fast. Like, how is it check-in time already?!!
Last report wordcount + chapter count:
Whisper = Baby Outline Done, 6801 words, Chapter 3
Phantom Silence = 10 Chapters into the Outline, 11,013 words, Chapter 7
Between Ashes and Ice = 5 Chapters into the Outline, 7286 words, Chapter 2
Current report WC + CC:
Whisper = New & Improved Full-Grown Outline 100% Done, 6865 words, Chapter 3, 64 new words courtesy of a new opening paragraph!
Phantom Silence = Baby Outline 100% Done, 16,375 words, Chapter 10
Between Ashes and Ice = Current Miniature Outline in Shambles, 11,972 words into the draft, Chapter 3
The Raven = Full Rock-Star Outline 100% Complete!!
Monthly Total: 10,112 words, 4 chapters, and 3 outlines done. ^_^
WIP Issues This Month:
Okay so, I’m feeling SO MUCH better about “Whisper” now that the outline has been redone. But all in all, I feel like this was a pretty craptastic month. “Between Ashes and Ice” is in danger of being scrapped, to be honest, and I’m having a serious crisis of confidence with “Phantom Silence.” Like, horrible, paralyzing fear and the worst case of performance anxiety I think I’ve ever had. I just kept thinking about how bad I want these stories to be the best things I’ve ever written. I kept looking at my outlines and wondering why they FELT like outlines. (Yes, I’m serious.) So instead of drafting, I kept tinkering with my outlines. Yes, I felt better and excited and energized when they were done, but then I felt HORRIBLE because I had barely written anything. Then I felt like a failure. Then of course, I started feeling like I couldn’t write anymore. Like I’ve lost the ability to form a story out of words. How did I ever do it before?! Then I spent far too much time looking at my to do list and feeling stressed. And there is seriously only 4 things on the to do list.
Ah yes #writersareSOstable m/^_^m/
What I learned this month in writing:
1* The outline is NOT the story. If the outline feels bare bones, that doesn’t mean the story is going to be bare bones. The outline is just my guide. It’s not going to have all the crazy emotional arcs and tiny, tiny details that make the story world so incredibly rich. I have to write those things.
2* Writer’s Block is real. And it’s not pretty.
3* It’s really okay for me not to edit my opening chapters 1000 times before moving on with the rest of the story. The world will not melt into oblivion for failure to do so. I’m hoping if I say this enough times I’ll start to believe it. 😉
4* Confidence issues happen, so I’m trying really hard to cut myself some slack until this lastest bout passes me by, because if I’m forcing words out, it shows on the page and that causes more stress. Maybe it’s because I didn’t take a long enough break last month. Maybe I’m just putting too much pressure on myself again. Whatever it is, I’m just going to calm down.
What distracted me this month while writing:
“The Raven” took up a LOT of brain space, which is why I went ahead and started the outline and kept going for hours until my brain started to melt on me. However, my MC wouldn’t shut up, so I baby outlined the rest and tried give myself permission to call it done, after all, I had an EXACT map for how it ends. But this STILL wasn’t good enough for her and I spent two weeks fighting with myself about it and being nagged by my MC to finish it already, so I finished that up last night!!!!! And it is SO freaking good. Lol! Until I caved though, I was ready to call myself a disgrace to the title of writer. (Okay, fine, I was already calling myself that.)
Despite the imminent danger of being poked into insanity, I had no plans to sit down and try to finish it until I saw Ifeoma’s tweet about how she was getting some words in before the check-in and my character was like, “She’s writing. pokePOKE I know your brain is tired, but you don’t have to think at all, just listen to me talk and write it down.” So I did. And she was right, it wasn’t taxing on my brain at all! And now I’m on a story high even though I’ve technically only written the opening paragraph so far (and that was only to get the tense and POV down).
All this to say, distraction via uber-persistent blot bunny. I’ve even forgotten about being in the query trenches for the better part of most days. Yay, plot bunnies! ^_^
And I have to wonder if this is what’s been causing my concentration problems for the last two weeks!! EEP! Cause right after I finished my outline, I rewrote my opening paragraph for “Whisper” and I had been staring at that blinking cursor all month.
Goal for next month:
Yeah, while I’m hoping whatever funk I seemed to have slipped into will pass with a weekend full of relaxation and reading, I’m not going to make any definite plans for fear of stressing myself out and prolonging the situation. Reverse psychology! Lol! By the way, anyone gearing up for NaNoWriMo?
Last 200 words:
From the current chapter of “Phantom Silence” – Chapter 11, before I gave up.
Rosemarie sits just inside the first corridor to the left, silken, navy skirts billowing out around her small frame. She holds a broken chalice in hands spotted with blood, and broken pewter pieces litter the rug before her.
She looks up as I approach and mutters an unfeminine oath under her breath as she rolls her eyes to the side.
Dark purple bruises mar the right side of her face and travel down across her collar bone. I kneel down before her and lift a hand to her face. Though I touch her lightly, she winces and draws back.
“I’m fine,” she says, her voice a growl. She forces herself to meet my concerned gaze and presses an uncomfortable smile onto her face.
Until Next Month!
May the Plot Bunnies never disturb your slumber. ^_^