I had such high hopes for this year. Thirteen is half of my favoritest number, making it favoritest odd number. (Yep.) But alas, it just didn’t live up to the hype. I spent most of the year watching all my hopes and dreams fall to ruin around me. cue slow melodramatic drum solo
“Here dreams. Over here. No, not there. I said NOT THERE!!” hiss
I just knew if any year would be great it would be 2013. I was working on something that didn’t have blood-sucking fiends in it for the first time in 5 years! (And only the 2nd time in 10!) I loved what I was writing. And I had finally decided to stop fighting writing YA and give into inspiration when it strikes in that category. In the early writing days, one of my biggest fears was getting published in YA and being stuck there. Stupid as it may sound, I thought once you were published, you weren’t allowed to write anything else. Tis true. I wanted to be able to write whatever I wanted, whatever struck me. As the saying goes: live in learn. 🙂
But yeah, 2013 turned out the be the year my dreams turned to ash. I racked up more rejections and partial drafts this year than the previous 5 years put together. I didn’t get any closer to my dream of publication. In fact, I seem to be further away than ever. However, all is not lost. I learned A LOT about myself as a writer. So I’d like to take a moment to highlight the Top 13 Reasons Why 2013 Isn’t The Suckiest Year Ever…(in no particular order)
13 I proved to myself that I can work under pressure, and won NaNo!! (earning me a t-shirt and winner’s badge with my favoritest odd number on it!)
12 It’s okay to take an extended break when
your brain is fried you’re tired.
11 I got over my fear of participating in writing contests.
10 They finally put up fiber-optic cable towers in my neighborhood! (ha, ha)
9 I finally accepted that just because I love cats SO much, that didn’t mean I needed to have one right now. (I know, random, right?)
8 Having someone to talk to about writing stuff is like the greatest thing ever.
7 I made some new writing friends & discovered some awesome new blogs to stalk. ^_^
6 “I am a writer, and I will write what I want to write.” (JK Rowling)
5 I attended my first Writer’s Conference!
4 Two + Two only always equals Four if you only ever use the left side of your brain.
3 I love magic. It’s okay to have someone with magic powers in every single story that I write.
2 Despair can only beat me if I refuse to get back up again.
1* I realized I don’t have to always be trying something completely new & different to grow as a writer.
That last one is especially important for me. One of the things I learned in trying so many different things this year is how much I love, LOVE dark, creepy, real-world(ish) fantasy. That’s just what I gravitate towards. And while it’s okay to flex some muscles outside of that, I can flex just as many muscles inside of it. And that’s one of my goals for next year: to experiment more under the umbrella of my expertise. Because that is where I’m happiest and where I thrive and where I want to live.
One last thing before I sign off and pretend like I’m actually going to end the year writing or reading and not watching seasons 3 & 4 of The Office: I have a big birthday coming up. And while I realize I look like a teenager, it doesn’t make turning this number any easier. I just hope by the time my birthday comes around in May, I will be able to say it, embrace it, and celebrate it and not feel like a failure because I’m not published and don’t have an awesome pet to pester me when I’m trying to write. I would really, really like to stop beating myself up and move into a year bookended by a number that is just okay and keep fighting for my poor exhausted dreams. (pokes at dreams “You are still alive, yes?”) Which is my second and last goal for the year: Keep Fighting. Which is honestly the last thing I want to do right now. So I have no expectations for next year. I only want it to be better than this year. And the numerically superstitious ocd part of my brain is like, “14, huh? meh? Wake me up when you turn 32.” Erm…thanks?
To 2014 – May I remember to stop The Office long enough to watch the ball drop in Times Square on TV. Or not…