Dance of the Bumblebee…

Hey Folks!

Today I want to share some poems that were inspired by a forthcoming WIP: The Shades of My Shadow. It has rather dark themes, and is, hands down, going to be the darkest story I have ever written. It’s also leaning toward the most realistic, but I won’t know how heavy my supernatural elements will be until I start writing it. I’m a little nervous. Okay, I might be a lot nervous. I’ve been wanting a certifiably crazy MC for a while now. I let myself write a pseudo-crazy one a few years ago and the people who read it didn’t take to her too well. I did have a great conversation about her with a friend, so I know what went wrong, but that didn’t make it any easier to try again, so I’ve avoided it ever since. Well, not anymore. I’m enjoying my NaNoWriMo project so much, I thought, “Why not just continue doing whatever I want?” ^^ I’m preparing myself for the lot of angry emotions to spill out on these pages. Should be fun. ^^ I’m rather famous for setting stuff aside and looking for excuses on why I can’t work on them when I’m afraid to write them. Right now I’m experimenting with a new writing philosophy. If I’m afraid to write it, I’m going to write it, because that’s what I need to be working on. If I’m not afraid, it can wait. ^_^

A little background: The character in question, Jade, is not suicidal, though everyone in her life thinks she is. She has a lot of frustration and bitterness and perhaps a not very healthy dose of hopelessness. I have a villain who is high into the voodoo or whatever and claims to want to help her get control over her life. She’s an artist, though not a paid one, and doesn’t see the point of trying to pursue it professionally either. The second one is one I’m actually thinking about putting in the beginning of the story because it’s encompasses the essence of the story so well. ^_^

Ruined
Hope is gone
Ruined like my life
On the backs of dreams

Does anyone hear me?
Does anyone hear me?
My screams.

They echo in the silence
Of your rejection
Constantly
Unrelentlessly
Falling…

My dreams have ended
Stomped cold in the reality
Of the present

No one hears me.
No one hears me.
My screams
(Oct. 30. 2013)

Untitled
Your voice is a fire
That runs over me
Through my mind
And through my veins

Your call is a river
That consumes me
I can’t give in
And I can’t deny

Your power is a storm
That confines me
To your beckons
Against my will

Your light is a passion
That calls me
Deeper down
Darker still

Your voice is a fire
That renders me breathless
And waiting
(Oct. 30. 2013)

If I Died Tonight
You are the gatekeeper
You hold me at bay

I am the wanderer
I am not okay

You steal my passion
I fade away

You killed my love
I cannot stay

If I died tonight
You would never know

Why cover my scars
They don’t seem to show

Why silence my scream
From down below

Why am I still here
Why don’t I go

If I beat on your door
Would notice me then

Why bleed blood
When I can just spill the ink from my pen

I stain the pages
Over and over again

Why cover my pain
When my soul will never mend
(Nov. 12. 2013)

6 Responses to Dance of the Bumblebee…

  1. My goodness, I love this poetry. Gorgeous! That’s very brave to take on a psychologically challenged character. I wouldn’t dare to approach it until I’d done a ton of research and found a positive slant from a scholarly angle…or I’d pull a Great Gatsby and let the narrator be the side character observing the main character’s spiral. It’s awesome and cathartic to write this kind of stuff, but at the same time, I wouldn’t be brave enough. Here’s wishing you the very best draft ever!

    • Thank you so much! 🙂
      Yeah, I’m both excited and trying to talk myself out of it at the same time.

      I keep thinking about this autobiography I read when I was 12 that disturbed the crap out of me. I never read that book again, but it’s stuck with me all these years. I really felt like I understood what it was like to be in her shoes.

    • Thank you! I need it. I’ve had a couple of test runs and it’s not going to work if I hold back. I need to let her be angry. I’ve been holding the reigns on it. Every time it comes out it’s a little scary, but that’s exactly what I’m going for.

Hi! ^_^