This isn’t like me to fight so hard to get a story to work. I have more ideas than I can handle and two other projects I’m working on that I love, and here I am fighting for Chains of Destiny like my sanity depends on it. I’ve already rewritten parts of this story. Last time, however, I was only halfway through. This time I’m finished and along with a second overhaul of my MC’s POV, there are major plot changes as well.
I’ll be honest. I don’t want to do this. I’m afraid it’s a waste of time when I could be writing something else. Also, I don’t do major overhauls. It’s just not my thing. I’ve done one in my life. It had an MC I couldn’t stand. In fact, I hated her so much, I didn’t even edit the story. After I finished the first draft, I set it aside and didn’t look at it again for 3 years!
I remembered thinking that story was hopeless. But I loved it so I rewrote it and made it better and to date, that story is the only story I’ve queried that has garnered any interest from agents.
And I thought to myself, “I’m sitting here whining and complaining about having to do a rewrite like I don’t know how to do one. But I have proof that I’ve done it before!”
I have all this other stuff to do and Chains of Destiny has my biggest pile of rejections to date. It’s probably a bad idea to keep trying with it, but I’m going to do it. Not only do I have a huge crush on the love interest, but this story contains some of my favorite lines ever and quite possibly my most favorite villain of all time. My dream villain. I can’t stop thinking about her and all the fantabulous things she’s said and done and will continue to say and do in the sequel. I’ve never wanted to write a sequel so bad in my life.
So despite everything, I have to do this. For my crush. For my villain. And most of all, for my MC, Reagan. I had such a hard time getting into her head. Then, when I did she came out flat and dull, and I couldn’t figure out how to fix her. But I needed her, you know. I couldn’t just write her out. She’s the hero! But last week I finally stood face to face with the word I was looking for: whiny. I spent all this time dancing around her issues because I was afraid she would sound whiny. (Like, really?) But if I’m messing her up by not letting her whine, you know what, I’m going to let her whine. Hopefully, it’ll turn out okay. I might as well give it try, because I can’t relax knowing I ruined another story because I freaked. I’m doing the exact opposite of what I’m always telling other people to do: stop worrying, stop harping, and just follow your instincts and have fun already!
It’s funny how I freaked out like this. I didn’t run around blaming anyone in my last story for it’s epic failure. Or the one before that. Or ever. I always blamed myself. Either for ignoring my instincts or trying in the first place or sending out a story I knew wasn’t great or sending out a vampire story in the middle of vampire hysteria. This time shouldn’t be any different.
I’m taking this opportunity to formally apologize to Reagan. “If you came across as boring, it’s MY fault. I blamed you for my issues with the story, and I’m sorry. I didn’t let you be yourself because I was afraid. And because of this, I stood in your way. Your emotional execution in this story brings tears, and I can’t believe I filtered you like that. I have more trust in you than I had in Caroline and I didn’t treat her this way. I let her be herself and her hermit habits didn’t hurt that story in the least. I don’t believe any whining you do, albeit accidentally or on purpose, will hurt this one. After what you go through, I hardly think anyone will blame you. I can’t believe you’re not mad at me. I would be. Thank you for being so great about it and sticking by my side. Your trust and faith in me is much undeserved.”
Now back to work. 🙂