25 Things You Can Do On TV That You Can’t Do In Real Life…

I’ve been watching a lot of Xena lately and it has me thinking…look at all the cool crap you can do on TV. If all fiction emulated real life, you could…

1* Take down a whole army by yourself, heal the wounded, go belly dancing, impersonate a princess and a concubine, and then go to sleep on the hard forest floor all in the same day. (Xena, Warrior Princess)

2* Go to school in the morning and slay beasties in the evening. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

3* Battle an evil cyclops as a form of after lunch exercise. (Hercules)

4* Host your very old “Social Issues and Stuff with Kelly” on local TV. (Married…with Children)

5* Go forward in time and see what your life will be like if you use your powers for evil. (Charmed)

6* Summon your awesomefied hammer just by stretching out your big powerful fist. (Thor)

7* Be reincarnated as a blood thirsty count’s One True Love! (Dracula)

8* Steal the beautiful voice of the sea king’s youngest daughter as a means of luring him into a trap so you can steal his Triton. (The Little Mermaid)

9* Give your rival a poisoned apple to get them out of your way. (Snow White, Once Upon A Time)

10* Fly around in your fan-bloody-tastic iron suit that you made from scrap metal while locked up in a cave guarded by terrorists. (Iron Man)

11* Eat honey all day and still being able to move that evening to go play in the woods with your hyper friends. (Winnie the Pooh)

12* Pull a sword out a stone. (Sword in the Stone, Camelot)

13* Go back in time and save a kingdom under siege with tricks you learned at baseball practice. (A Kid in King Arthur’s Court)

14* Win basketball games with the help of a ghost that’s also your older brother. (The Sixth Man)

15* Turn into a puddle of water to escape your bullies. (The Secret World of Alex Mack)

16* Have a teenaged boy crawl into your window at all hours of the day without your parent’s nailing your window shut. (Clarissa Explains It All)

17* Go from scrawny asthmatic nobody to super buff superhero in a matter of minutes. (Captain America)

18* Run into a grapefruit truck, go to heaven, hit the Return button when the angel isn’t looking, and get put in someone else’s body.  (Drop Dead Diva)

19* Escape from an ancient and large group of trained killers by yourself with only a pair of hand guns. (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider)

20* Prick your finger on a spindle and fall asleep for a 100 years. (Sleeping Beauty)

21* Impersonate your twin brother for several weeks without anyone finding out about it. (She’s the Man)

22* Steal your best friend’s boyfriend and have her actually talk to you again. (Daria)

23* Sleep in an icebox full of actual ice and enjoy it. (Moonlight)

24* Change faces with someone else and go undercover to discover the location of a bomb. (Face/Off)

25* Read from the Egyptian book of the dead and awaken a mummy while simultaneously unleashing biblical plagues on mankind. (The Mummy)

Hmm…maybe. ^_^


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